1. Kung gustong makita ang mapapangasawa, humarap sa salamin nang hatinggabi na may hawak na kandila.
2. dapat iwasan ng babae at lalaking ikakasal ang magbiyahe para maging ligtas sa aksidente.
3. Huwag isusukat ang trahe de boda bago ang araw ng kasal at baka hindi ito matuloy.
4. ang lalaking ikakasal ang dapat maunang dumating sa simbahan bago ang babae, upang makaiwas sa malas.
5. Kapag nalaglag ang singsing, belo o aras habang ikinakasal, hindi magiging masaya ang pagsasama ng mag-asawa.
6. Malas ang sukob sa taon, o pagpapakasal ng magkapatid sa loob ng isang taon.
7. habang kumakain pa ang isang dalaga, huwag itong pagligpitan ng pinagkainan at baka hindi na ito makapangasawa.
8. Ang taong sumusunod sa mga yapak ng mga bagong kasal ay malapit na ring humarap sa altar.
9. Kapag umalis ang asawa mo matapos ninyong mag-away, isabit mo ang t-shirt niya sa ibabaw ng kalan at hampas-hampasin mo ito. Sigurado, babalikan ka ng asawa mo!
10.‘wag magwawalis sa gabi. Baka malasin ka.
11.Pag makati ang palad, magkakapera ka!
12.Magbigay ng discount sa unang customer para maganda ang benta (“buena mano”).
13.Ang sinumang makabasag ng salamin ay mamalasin ng pitong taon
14.Ang matulog nang nakatapat ang mga paa sa pintuan ay maagang mamamatay.
15.Kapag may dumaang pusang itim sa iyong harapan, mamalasin ka!
Source : Ang Pinaka TV Show on QTV-11
Monday, May 25, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
ANG PINAKA: KONTROBERSYAL NA SHOWBIZ LOVE AFFAIRS
1. JOEY MARQUEZ & KRIS AQUINO2. ALEX CRISANO & ETHEL BOOBA
3. RICO YAN & CLAUDINE BARRETO
4. DOLPHY QUIZON & ZSA ZSA PADILLA
5. JOMARI YLLANA & ARA MINA
6. JOHN ESTRADA & VANESSA DEL BIANCO
7. RYAN AGONCILLO & JUDY ANN SANTOS
8. MAHAL & JIMBOY
9. JERICHO ROSALES & HEART EVANGELSITA
10. ARCHIE & MADAM AURING
11. MARK HERRAS & JENNYLYN MERCADO
12. RICHARD GUTTIEREZ & ANNE CURTIS
13. RICHARD GOMEZ & SHARON CUNETA
14. RUDY HATFIELD & RUFA MAE QUINTO
15. JOEY MARQUEZ & ALICIA MAYER
Source : Ang Pinaka TV Show on QTV-11
Photo : www.pep.ph
Thursday, May 14, 2009
ANG PINAKA: MABENTANG CELEBRITY ENDORSER
1. SHARON CUNETA
2. KRIS AQUINO
3. AGA MULACH
4. MANNY PACQUIAO
5. ANGEL LOCSIN
6. MICHAEL V.
7. KC CONCEPCION
8. VILMA SANTOS
9. MARICEL SORIANO
10. PIOLO PASCUAL
11. SAM MILBY
12. CHARLENE GONZALES
13. CLAUDINE BARRETTO
14. HEART EVANGELISTA
15. CESAR MONTANO
Source : Ang Pinaka TV Show on QTV-11
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
The Top Ten Traffic Moments - Astroboy
* Homer - My lolo was one lucky person. He was stuck in traffic in the northbound lane on the SLEX. Right next to the airport, an airplane overshot the runway and settled on the highway. He was the last car missed by the plane.
* Kirei - During traffic along EDSA, my best friend and I found ourselves behind a military truck. I waved at the soldiers, smiled, and blew them a kiss. A couple of soldiers waved back while the others smiled. Sobrang hiya ng best friend ko. So I told her, kahit sa ganung paraan man lang, mapabaunan ko sila ng konting saya bago sila sumabak sa digmaan.
* Specialist - I was along c5 on my way to the office. After the Katipunan flyover, I saw a plastic bag thrown from the shanties. It almost hit the car in front of me. It splattered and I saw that it was filled with human poop.
* Riverbanks - Our car and the car in front of us were flagged down by an MMDA person each. The car in front sped off after talking to the MMDA, then that guy talked to our MMDA. Apparently, the girl in front was Kris Aquino, and she told the MMDA that we were with her. If that was really her, then thanks, Ms. Kris!
* Dru - I was listening to my ipod as I crossed the street. Then this truck almost ran me over. When I looked up, it was a truck of condoms!
* XtraRice - As I was making sabit sa likod ng jeep (I’m a girl), the car right behind me started honking. When I looked, who should it be? My crush.
* SC - I was stuck in trafic 0n a jeep somewhere in Blumentritt, when a w0man suddenly screamed, her ear bleeding. Apparently may humabl0t ng earrings niya, a guy 0n a bike.
* Astroboy - I saw this car sticker on a car in fr0nt of me in traffic: “WARNING: children playng outside the car can cause accidents and adults playing inside the car can cause children!”
* Carlo - When we were stuck in traffic in Cavite, we decided to ask a jeepney driver what was causing the congestion. The driver replied,”Kasi may umano sa ano diyan sa may ano eh.”
* Marcus - One rainy August afternoon in 1998, I left the office in Pasig at 4:30pm and reached Alabang at 5am the next. We spent the whole night crawling in traffic along SLEX.
* Racer - An MMDA flagged down a friend who was on a motorcycle. My friend said, “Ano pong violation?” The MMDA answered, “Wala naman, pa-angkas lang. Trafik eh.”
* SC - While stuck in traffic in a taxi who happened to be listening to RX, I texted you guys to tell manong driver na pakilakasan ang aircon kasi nagmamantika na ko sa likod. Without talking, he did.
* SPY Shadow - Our military vicar was apprehended by a highway patrol for beating the red light. But the officer, who was a Catholic, let him go when he recognized the priest, and said “Father, ingat na lang kayo doon sa next intersection kasi hindi po mga Katoliko ang mga assigned doon!”
* Astroboy - One night, my sister had to take a taxi h0me. Nung malapit na siya, she tapped the driver’s sh0ulder then he screamed! He said after, “Pasensiya na po, 25 years kasi ak0ng driver sa punerarya. Di ako sanay na kinakalabit ng pasahero.”
* No name - While stuck in traffic on a bridge, may dad suddenly screamed, “May tumalon!” Apparently a lady committed suicide by jumping off.
* Sayuri - We were not moving along Roxas blvd, when suddenly a motorcade on the other lane stopped right alongside of us. My son rolled down his window to see the commotion, then the limo that the police were escorting rolled down the windows, and who should peek out — Michael Jackson! He handed his sampaguita necklace to my son.
* Jose de vengenge - One time in a bus, the conductor shouted, “O sige, pasok lang, maluwag yan kasi laging ginagamit!”
Source : Morning Rush with Chico and Del
* Kirei - During traffic along EDSA, my best friend and I found ourselves behind a military truck. I waved at the soldiers, smiled, and blew them a kiss. A couple of soldiers waved back while the others smiled. Sobrang hiya ng best friend ko. So I told her, kahit sa ganung paraan man lang, mapabaunan ko sila ng konting saya bago sila sumabak sa digmaan.
* Specialist - I was along c5 on my way to the office. After the Katipunan flyover, I saw a plastic bag thrown from the shanties. It almost hit the car in front of me. It splattered and I saw that it was filled with human poop.
* Riverbanks - Our car and the car in front of us were flagged down by an MMDA person each. The car in front sped off after talking to the MMDA, then that guy talked to our MMDA. Apparently, the girl in front was Kris Aquino, and she told the MMDA that we were with her. If that was really her, then thanks, Ms. Kris!
* Dru - I was listening to my ipod as I crossed the street. Then this truck almost ran me over. When I looked up, it was a truck of condoms!
* XtraRice - As I was making sabit sa likod ng jeep (I’m a girl), the car right behind me started honking. When I looked, who should it be? My crush.
* SC - I was stuck in trafic 0n a jeep somewhere in Blumentritt, when a w0man suddenly screamed, her ear bleeding. Apparently may humabl0t ng earrings niya, a guy 0n a bike.
* Astroboy - I saw this car sticker on a car in fr0nt of me in traffic: “WARNING: children playng outside the car can cause accidents and adults playing inside the car can cause children!”
* Carlo - When we were stuck in traffic in Cavite, we decided to ask a jeepney driver what was causing the congestion. The driver replied,”Kasi may umano sa ano diyan sa may ano eh.”
* Marcus - One rainy August afternoon in 1998, I left the office in Pasig at 4:30pm and reached Alabang at 5am the next. We spent the whole night crawling in traffic along SLEX.
* Racer - An MMDA flagged down a friend who was on a motorcycle. My friend said, “Ano pong violation?” The MMDA answered, “Wala naman, pa-angkas lang. Trafik eh.”
* SC - While stuck in traffic in a taxi who happened to be listening to RX, I texted you guys to tell manong driver na pakilakasan ang aircon kasi nagmamantika na ko sa likod. Without talking, he did.
* SPY Shadow - Our military vicar was apprehended by a highway patrol for beating the red light. But the officer, who was a Catholic, let him go when he recognized the priest, and said “Father, ingat na lang kayo doon sa next intersection kasi hindi po mga Katoliko ang mga assigned doon!”
* Astroboy - One night, my sister had to take a taxi h0me. Nung malapit na siya, she tapped the driver’s sh0ulder then he screamed! He said after, “Pasensiya na po, 25 years kasi ak0ng driver sa punerarya. Di ako sanay na kinakalabit ng pasahero.”
* No name - While stuck in traffic on a bridge, may dad suddenly screamed, “May tumalon!” Apparently a lady committed suicide by jumping off.
* Sayuri - We were not moving along Roxas blvd, when suddenly a motorcade on the other lane stopped right alongside of us. My son rolled down his window to see the commotion, then the limo that the police were escorting rolled down the windows, and who should peek out — Michael Jackson! He handed his sampaguita necklace to my son.
* Jose de vengenge - One time in a bus, the conductor shouted, “O sige, pasok lang, maluwag yan kasi laging ginagamit!”
Source : Morning Rush with Chico and Del
Friday, May 8, 2009
ANG PINAKA: MABISANG LUNAS SA PUSONG SAWI
1. UMIYAK KA!
2. ‘WAG MAHIYANG HUMINGI NG TULONG SA MGA KAIBIGAN
3. LEARN TO FORGIVE AND FORGET
4. MAGPA-SPA, MAG-SHOPPING PERO HINAY-HINAY LANG SA GASTUSIN
5.‘WAG IKULONG ANG SARILI. LUMABAS KA.
6.‘WAG MAGMADALI!
7. MAGBISI-BISIHAN KA SA TRABAHO O BAGONG HOBBY
8. ANG PAGTAWA!
9. ANG PAGBABAGO NG ROUTINE
10.ALISIN SIYA SA SISTEMA MO MAGHANAP NG BAGONG KAIBIGAN O ENVIRONMENT.
11.ISIPIN ANG KINABUKASAN MO AT ‘WAG NANG BALIKAN ANG NAKARAAN.
12.ITAGO ANG MGA SOUVENIR NIYA, PICTURES AT LETTERS PERO WAG SUNUGIN AT BAKA MAGSISI
13.IWASAN MUNA ANG LOVE STORIES, LOVE SONGS, AT ROMANTIC MOVIES
14.TUMULONG SA IBANG NANGANGAILANGAN
15.PAKIKIPAG-REUNITE SA MGA DATI MONG KAKILALA O KAIBIGAN.
Source : Ang Pinaka TV Show on QTV-11
2. ‘WAG MAHIYANG HUMINGI NG TULONG SA MGA KAIBIGAN
3. LEARN TO FORGIVE AND FORGET
4. MAGPA-SPA, MAG-SHOPPING PERO HINAY-HINAY LANG SA GASTUSIN
5.‘WAG IKULONG ANG SARILI. LUMABAS KA.
6.‘WAG MAGMADALI!
7. MAGBISI-BISIHAN KA SA TRABAHO O BAGONG HOBBY
8. ANG PAGTAWA!
9. ANG PAGBABAGO NG ROUTINE
10.ALISIN SIYA SA SISTEMA MO MAGHANAP NG BAGONG KAIBIGAN O ENVIRONMENT.
11.ISIPIN ANG KINABUKASAN MO AT ‘WAG NANG BALIKAN ANG NAKARAAN.
12.ITAGO ANG MGA SOUVENIR NIYA, PICTURES AT LETTERS PERO WAG SUNUGIN AT BAKA MAGSISI
13.IWASAN MUNA ANG LOVE STORIES, LOVE SONGS, AT ROMANTIC MOVIES
14.TUMULONG SA IBANG NANGANGAILANGAN
15.PAKIKIPAG-REUNITE SA MGA DATI MONG KAKILALA O KAIBIGAN.
Source : Ang Pinaka TV Show on QTV-11
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
The Top Ten Inuman Quotes - Astroboy
* Baloy/Pags - Nung tinanong ako ng magulang ko, “Anong napapala mo sa kaka-inom?” Tinanong ko rin sila, “Anong napapala ninyo sa kaka-sermon?”
* Shuurei - Fave quote on drinking: “Buo ang loob, wasak ang isipan.”
* Maximo - Nahuli ni misis si mister na lasing sa club, kaya nagpanggap siyang GRO. Mrs:”Pogi, gusto mo ko i-table?” Mr: “Ayoko sa yo, kamukha mo asawa ko!”
* Junus - “Biruin na ang lasing, kahit pa ang bagong gising, wag lang ang bading na inagawan ng booking.” * CnigngNaBngus - While drinking with the boss, she challenged, “Ang ayaw na uminom, bading!” Wanting to go home already, I told her, “Suko na akesh!”
* Sh0aoDaBrat - You know why alcohol is better than milk? Pangit kasi pakinggan yung, “Tara ‘tol, dede tayo!”
* Maximo - A girl in a bar was offered margaritas, got drunk & was gang-raped. The next day, not remembering what happened the previous night, she came back to the same club & was again offered the same drinks. She said, “Ayoko na ng margarita, masakit sa puk*!”
* Pluralized LghtNing - Dead drunk and on a jeepney, I blurted out, “Mama, tagay!”
* KiD BuKid - I’ve had a priest seatmate once during a flight home from Dubai. At an altitude of 32,000 feet, he was asked by the stewardess if he would care for a hard drink. The churchman hesitated for a moment and then said, “Maybe not. We’re a little too close to ‘Headquarters!”
* Kresha - During a drink fest in Tagaytay, my cousin was so drunk that she chased my gay friend shouting, “Halika dito, gagawin kitang lalake!”
* Bottom Dweller - “Pare…ishang lashing nalang…bote na ko!”
* Tomba - Text exchange between 2 friends: Ben, the hunk, and Alvin, the gay who was drunk. Ben: “Matagal ko nang tinatago ang nararamdaman ko para sa yo.Mahal na mahal kita.” Alvin: “Oh my gosh, akala mo ba ikaw lang? Mahal na mahal din kita, Ben!” (long pause) Ben: “Pare, wrong send ako.”
* Junus - 2 drunks peeing in public toilet, one straight, one gay. Gay was watching straight guy as he peed. Straight: “Pag di ka tumigil, hahampasin kita nito!” Gay: “Promise?”
* Faus - “Drinking is the haven of the weak.”
* Marcus - While drinking with an unpopular American officer, one officemate blurted, “Langyang Kano ito, ang hina sa inuman! Isang bote palang, inggles na ng inggles!”
* PUTUNGTUNG’S DAD - A father was trying to teach his son about the evils of alcohol. He put 1 worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whisky. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whisky died. FATHER: “All right son, what have you learned?” SON: “Well dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, hindi ka magkakabulate!”
* Lanz - Isang girl may nakitang umiihing lasing sa daan. Girl: “Ano ba yan! Ang daming bulb*l pero ang liit ng t*ti!” Lasing: “Anong gusto mo, maraming tit* pero maliit ang bulb*l?”
* The Game - Dalawang lasing: Lasing 1: “Pare totoo bang babaeng lamok lang ang nangangagat?” Lasing 2: “Tanga, pati aso nangangagat!”
* Orrken - The morning after 2 guys were dead drunk, they woke up beside each other on a small bed. Guy 1: “Ang sikip!” Guy: “Ganun talaga…first time ko eh…”
* SC - During an all-girl inuman, one friend complained that only ugly men are courting her. Another friend assured her, “Ganun talaga, kasi yung mga guwapo, sila-sila ang nagliligawan!”
* Dok Erick - Couple sees a wounded skunk and picks it up. Wife: “It’s cold and shivering!” Husband: “Put it in between your legs.” Wife: “What about the smell?” Husband: “Takpan mo nalang ilong niya!”
* Mayi - “Beer over wine, not so fine. Wine over beer, never fear. Beer over whisky, very risky. Beer over brandy fine and dandy.”
* Specialist - I had a freudian slip and orderd, “Isa ngang sizzling tiyan ng bellydancer!”
* Jose de vengenge - Drunk 1: “”Ano nga pala spelling ng orange?” Drunk 2: “Alin, yung kulay o yung prutas?”
* Chinese Cowboy - “Huwag manghiram ng tapang sa alak dahil bukas duwag ka na ulit.”
* Baloy - “Drunken words are spoken by sober hearts.”
* No name - Namatay yung kapitbahay namin na drug dealer. Sa 1st night ng bur0l, may mga dumating na addict na mga lasing. Biglang lumapit yung isa, sabay yumakap sa kabaong sabay sigaw ng, “Drug lord, bakit mo kami iniwannn!!!”
* Amber - “What’s the use of a hangover if the heart still hurts more than the head?”
* Jhun Gwapo - “Drinking doesn’t cure any trouble, but it only holds your problem till tomorow.”
* Jose de vengenge - Our gay friend was trying to comfort a straight friend who just broke up w/ his girlfriend. STRAIGHT: “Wala na kong silbi! Puputulin ko na ang ari ko at ipapakain sa aso!” GAY: “Arf! Arf! Arf!”
Source : Morning Rush with Chico and Del
* Shuurei - Fave quote on drinking: “Buo ang loob, wasak ang isipan.”
* Maximo - Nahuli ni misis si mister na lasing sa club, kaya nagpanggap siyang GRO. Mrs:”Pogi, gusto mo ko i-table?” Mr: “Ayoko sa yo, kamukha mo asawa ko!”
* Junus - “Biruin na ang lasing, kahit pa ang bagong gising, wag lang ang bading na inagawan ng booking.” * CnigngNaBngus - While drinking with the boss, she challenged, “Ang ayaw na uminom, bading!” Wanting to go home already, I told her, “Suko na akesh!”
* Sh0aoDaBrat - You know why alcohol is better than milk? Pangit kasi pakinggan yung, “Tara ‘tol, dede tayo!”
* Maximo - A girl in a bar was offered margaritas, got drunk & was gang-raped. The next day, not remembering what happened the previous night, she came back to the same club & was again offered the same drinks. She said, “Ayoko na ng margarita, masakit sa puk*!”
* Pluralized LghtNing - Dead drunk and on a jeepney, I blurted out, “Mama, tagay!”
* KiD BuKid - I’ve had a priest seatmate once during a flight home from Dubai. At an altitude of 32,000 feet, he was asked by the stewardess if he would care for a hard drink. The churchman hesitated for a moment and then said, “Maybe not. We’re a little too close to ‘Headquarters!”
* Kresha - During a drink fest in Tagaytay, my cousin was so drunk that she chased my gay friend shouting, “Halika dito, gagawin kitang lalake!”
* Bottom Dweller - “Pare…ishang lashing nalang…bote na ko!”
* Tomba - Text exchange between 2 friends: Ben, the hunk, and Alvin, the gay who was drunk. Ben: “Matagal ko nang tinatago ang nararamdaman ko para sa yo.Mahal na mahal kita.” Alvin: “Oh my gosh, akala mo ba ikaw lang? Mahal na mahal din kita, Ben!” (long pause) Ben: “Pare, wrong send ako.”
* Junus - 2 drunks peeing in public toilet, one straight, one gay. Gay was watching straight guy as he peed. Straight: “Pag di ka tumigil, hahampasin kita nito!” Gay: “Promise?”
* Faus - “Drinking is the haven of the weak.”
* Marcus - While drinking with an unpopular American officer, one officemate blurted, “Langyang Kano ito, ang hina sa inuman! Isang bote palang, inggles na ng inggles!”
* PUTUNGTUNG’S DAD - A father was trying to teach his son about the evils of alcohol. He put 1 worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whisky. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whisky died. FATHER: “All right son, what have you learned?” SON: “Well dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, hindi ka magkakabulate!”
* Lanz - Isang girl may nakitang umiihing lasing sa daan. Girl: “Ano ba yan! Ang daming bulb*l pero ang liit ng t*ti!” Lasing: “Anong gusto mo, maraming tit* pero maliit ang bulb*l?”
* The Game - Dalawang lasing: Lasing 1: “Pare totoo bang babaeng lamok lang ang nangangagat?” Lasing 2: “Tanga, pati aso nangangagat!”
* Orrken - The morning after 2 guys were dead drunk, they woke up beside each other on a small bed. Guy 1: “Ang sikip!” Guy: “Ganun talaga…first time ko eh…”
* SC - During an all-girl inuman, one friend complained that only ugly men are courting her. Another friend assured her, “Ganun talaga, kasi yung mga guwapo, sila-sila ang nagliligawan!”
* Dok Erick - Couple sees a wounded skunk and picks it up. Wife: “It’s cold and shivering!” Husband: “Put it in between your legs.” Wife: “What about the smell?” Husband: “Takpan mo nalang ilong niya!”
* Mayi - “Beer over wine, not so fine. Wine over beer, never fear. Beer over whisky, very risky. Beer over brandy fine and dandy.”
* Specialist - I had a freudian slip and orderd, “Isa ngang sizzling tiyan ng bellydancer!”
* Jose de vengenge - Drunk 1: “”Ano nga pala spelling ng orange?” Drunk 2: “Alin, yung kulay o yung prutas?”
* Chinese Cowboy - “Huwag manghiram ng tapang sa alak dahil bukas duwag ka na ulit.”
* Baloy - “Drunken words are spoken by sober hearts.”
* No name - Namatay yung kapitbahay namin na drug dealer. Sa 1st night ng bur0l, may mga dumating na addict na mga lasing. Biglang lumapit yung isa, sabay yumakap sa kabaong sabay sigaw ng, “Drug lord, bakit mo kami iniwannn!!!”
* Amber - “What’s the use of a hangover if the heart still hurts more than the head?”
* Jhun Gwapo - “Drinking doesn’t cure any trouble, but it only holds your problem till tomorow.”
* Jose de vengenge - Our gay friend was trying to comfort a straight friend who just broke up w/ his girlfriend. STRAIGHT: “Wala na kong silbi! Puputulin ko na ang ari ko at ipapakain sa aso!” GAY: “Arf! Arf! Arf!”
Source : Morning Rush with Chico and Del
Monday, May 4, 2009
ANG PINAKA: DELICIOUS SUMMER MERIENDA '08
1. BARBECUE NG INENG’S BARBECUE
2. PANCIT MALABON SA ROSY’S PANCIT MALABON
3. PANCIT CON LECHON SA
4. PANCITERIA NI EDONG
5. EMPANADITAS SA LUCKY 21 KAMUNING
6. GUINUMIS NG VIA MARE
7. KAMIAS SHAKE AT CAIMITO SHAKE NG CAFÉ BOLA
8. BUCO PANDAN NG KEN AFFORD, SA KATIPUNAN
9. DIGMAN HALO-HALO SA CAVITE
10. ANG HALO-HALO NA NAGLIPANA SA MALLS
11. MINIMALIST HALO-HALO NG RAZON’S, PAMPANGA
Source : Ang Pinaka TV Show on QTV-11
2. PANCIT MALABON SA ROSY’S PANCIT MALABON
3. PANCIT CON LECHON SA
4. PANCITERIA NI EDONG
5. EMPANADITAS SA LUCKY 21 KAMUNING
6. GUINUMIS NG VIA MARE
7. KAMIAS SHAKE AT CAIMITO SHAKE NG CAFÉ BOLA
8. BUCO PANDAN NG KEN AFFORD, SA KATIPUNAN
9. DIGMAN HALO-HALO SA CAVITE
10. ANG HALO-HALO NA NAGLIPANA SA MALLS
11. MINIMALIST HALO-HALO NG RAZON’S, PAMPANGA
Source : Ang Pinaka TV Show on QTV-11
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