* Jose de vengenge - Bride to a friend: “Choose your wife carefully. After all, this is the face you’ll be looking at in divorce court.”
* Jose de vengenge - A woman in church talking to a friend: “My husband & I divorced over religious diffrences. He thought he was God…I didn’t.
* Scrambledegg - “There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking: It’s called marriage.”
* Hoiram - For my parent’s Golden Wedding anniversary (50th), in lieu of registering them in Rustan’s, my brother had them registered in Mercury Drug and posted their maintenance medicines for high blood and blood sugar as gifts.
* Northeast - When our parents celebrated their 50th anniversary, during their renewal of vows, my father said: “There’s nothing to renew as our vows have never been broken.”
* Otso - My best man on our wedding said: “May the best of your past be the worst of your future.”
* Josie - My uncle’s speech during my orphan niece’s wedding: “The groom seems to be the luckiest man in the world. You know why? Because he has no mother-in-law.”
* Dru - A friend was so petrified by our very strict boss that on her wedding day, she got married in the morning, went to the office in the afternoon, then flew off to their honeymoon after work.
* Shenzumi - The “unwedding” of the year in my family happened to my cousin. He broke it off w/ his girlfriend of 6 years, a mere week before the wedding, when everything was canceled, catering, entourage clothes, etc. And the reason: they couldn’t agree on the motif. Plus…he realized that he is gay.
* Febkinse - Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It’s formality, just like two boxers, shaking hands before the fight begins.
* Zyra - I witnessed a wedding where the groom didn’t want to have his picture taken. The bride’s relatives were begging for him to at least look at the cameras. The bride was on the verge of crying. I heard it was pikot.
* Jules - “When in doubt, postpone.”
* Winch - My frend’s name is Tess and her groom is named V0n. So the priest would always say, “V0n, Tess…” We were laughing like anything because Tess really was v0ntess at the time.
* Billie - It’s a bittersweet thing kn0wng that our eldest sister d0esn’t plan to get married, so we have to pay her a d0wry if we ever wanted to get hitchd. I fear for my wallet if my ate decides to stay a spinster.
* Astroboy - Drunk: “My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we got married.”
* Astroboy - Same drunk: “Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It’s not fair that some men should be happier than others.”
* Astroboy - My dad to my m0m on their 25th anniversary: “Kung nagpakul0ng na lang sana ako nun, sa 20th year palang laya na sana ako.”
* Purplish Jen - A girl I know and her boyfriend for 10 years broke up because the guy entered the priesthood. Years after, the girl got married & the priest who officiated the weding was her ex.
* Blair - My husband’s best man said during his toast: “A best man’s speech should be proportionate to the groom’s penis. So, I thank you all for coming, and good night.” Funny speech. But later that night, I proved otherwise…
Source : Morning Rush with Chico and Del
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