* Dru - “I’m not gay, I’m straight. I’m just curious.”
* KiD BuKid - When your sobbing Yaya tells you, “Koya…Ati…uuwi po ako sa probinsya namin kasi namatay na naman yung Lolo ko!”
* Febkinse - When I was in line in a drive-thru, an FX backed up into my car. His excuse: “Akala ko walang kotse sa likod ko.”
Jun13 - Our noisy neighbor’s excuse is: “Kung ayaw niyo ng maingay, dun kayo sa subdivision tumira!”
* No name - Driving home from school, I hit a guy who suddenly darted into the road out of nowhere. As I was driving him to the hospital, he kept saying over and over, “Mayaman ka kasi, mahirap lang ako…”
Enigmaticjehn - Whenever parents say, “Ikaw dapat ang magpaaral sa mga kapatid mo kasi ikaw ang may trabaho!”
* Cheyenne - My daughter’s excuse when I tell her to run errands is: “Ma, sa iba na lang niyo i-utos, may pimples po ako eh!”
* Sunshine - When my mother-in-law says: “Basta sumunod nalang kyo! Dapat kung sino ang matanda, yun ang masusunod!”
* No name - In a relationship, when a partner who was caught cheating says, “Because you’re never there for me! What did you expect me to do?”
* Starex - My boyfriend’s excuse for not writing me love letters: “Kaya nga ako nag engineering kasi ayoko ng sulat-sulat!”
* No name - When my dad was explaining to me why he cheated on my mom, his reason was: “I’m just trying to help your mom to lose weight by giving her a problem.”
* No name - Another piece of crap my dad told me why he cheated on my mom: “I’m diabetic and I wanted to test my manhood.”
* Hyflyer - When a teacher asked: “Alvin, why did you not attend my class yesterday?” Alvin: “Kasi po absent po ako.”
* Rodel - “Malakas ang ulan, nakainom kami pareho, at kapwa sabik sa mga misis namin…”
* Jose de vengenge - Guy: “Sigurado ka ba na ako ang ama nyan?” Girl: “Oo naman! Tatlo na nga ang tinanong ko, eh hindi raw sila!”
* Wishoolicious - The waiter’s excuse when I asked why there was no sisig available in their sisig resto? “Puyat po kami eh…”
* Your Highness - Believe it or not, if you got hit by a car by the “locals” in the Middle East, a common excuse would be” “You see, you would have not met this accident if you just stayed home in your country!”
* Janela - Worst excuse I got from an agent: “I have a doctor’s appointment.” Thing is, her shift is at 10pm!
* SPY Shadow - If your noisy neighbor tells you: “Eh di bumili kayo ng mas malakas na sound system para makaganti kayo sa amin!”
* Loipogi - “It’s the government’s obligation to feed us, provide us clothing, and give us shelter BECAUSE we’re poor!”
* Janice - It was Mother’s day & I was waiting for my husband to at least greet me like he used to during the past Mother’s days. When it was almost midnight, I finally asked him if he won’t greet me at all. He answered, “No, because you’re not my mother.”
* Madstick - I really hate it when public utility drivers, when they get into a traffic accident, use the line: “Sensya na po, tao lang po at nagtratrabaho lang po!”
* Jose de vengenge - One time my mom saw a man peeing outsyd. Mom: “Ano ba yan! Ang liit ng tit* tapos ang daming bulb*l!” LALAKI: “Eh anong gusto mo? Maliit ang bulb*l tapos madaming tit*?”
Source : Morning Rush with Chico and Del
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